Me and the Stegosaurus
I have a free minute (shock!) and I figured I'd just let ya'll know that my blog is officially headed down the path of the dinosaurs... Yep. Anatomy of a Gummi Worm is just about as extinct as old Steggy over there.
So allow me to explain my absence. Here's the drama - first, just about everyone already knows I have a baby. I'll be the first to admit that I need to just shut up about it. He's going to be 4 months old next week - already! Holy crap you guys were right... I blinked, and suddenly he was reciting Shakespeare, doing calculus, and next week he'll be getting his Ph.D from Hahhhhvahhd. I see big things happening for this kid! So anyway - until he learns how to cook, clean, do laundry and take detailed dictation from me, it appears that blogging will suffer.
And now the real drama. My dad had a stroke the Monday before Thanksgiving. Yeah, it sucks. He's too damn young (58). By now I should have either cried or gotten really really pissed off at God for letting this happen to him, but neither of those have happened. I've been a therapist too long and treated too many stroke patients and I'm just numb to it at this point (my poor dad is in for it - with an occupational therapist for a daughter, a speech therapist for a wife and a pharmacist for a son... he's bound to get more of a workout than he thinks he needs. He's already told me that I'm "mean" and "bossy," but deep down he knows I mean well when I push him to work a little harder, do a few more reps, and stay out of bed when all he wants to do is lie down). Anyway... it's not as bad as it could have been, but it is definitely bad. I'll be doing a lot of traveling back and forth in the future. If he's ever going to go home, my parents' house needs a lot of work.... *sigh* Oh well. Hopefully the good that will come out of this is will be a baby that travels really well!
So. I figured - on the off chance that I won't be back for a good long while - I'd tell the story of The Title. Where in the world did Anatomy of a Gummi Worm come from anyway? If you ever wondered, there is a reason.
It's not as totally random as you'd think - assuming you ever gave it some thought....
O.K. We had the exciting task of dissecting an earthworm in my seventh grade science class - I missed school that day. Seriously. I was sick. I was so mad - I was actually looking forward to dissecting the earthworm! And I hated staying home sick (my parents' rule was, if you stayed home, no watching TV, no nuthin. You stayed in your room and got rest. So staying home sick was really boring - but I never ever ever faked sick to stay home, so I guess it was a good rule).
Anyway - I missed dissecting the earthworm. And the following week was the starfish. So the teacher decided that I'd have to make up the class during study hall - I mean really! How could you possibly expect a seventh grader to use the proper dissection techniques on a starfish if she hasn't first disected the earthworm? Problem was, he had run out of earthworms and there was no way he could get another preserved earthworm in time for me to cut up a starfish. Apparently going outside and digging up any old earthworm wasn't going to work because - no kidding - he had me practice using the scalpel on a gummi worm. I know what you're thinking... what the hell??? Completely ineffective. It's next to impossible to get a dull seventh grade science class safety scalpel through a freaking gummi worm. But I still had to use the dissected earthworm chart and "pretend" to identify the anatomy of the gummi worm. I suppose I got an "A" for imagination that day... but I haven't been able to eat a gummi worm ever since though. Gummi bears are a different story - I guess I should be thankful that preserved bears were too large to get into a seventh grade science classroom.
I hope that hasn't ruined the mystique for you.
Hopefully I'll be back soon....
18 Comments:
I'm sorry about your dad. I hope he recovers soon.
I never dissected the earthworm but I had to dissect a frog. It was SO disgusting. My bestfriend and I were messing around with it and trying to pin back the legs when BOING! the legs came forward flinging drops of that fermaldahyde (spelling? huh? what's that?) stuff into HER MOUTH! It was the funniest thing my little 9th grader eyes had ever seen.
Hope you're back soon. I miss you!
Sorry about your pops, it sounds like he is in good hands.
Personally, whenever I feel like mutilating defenseless candy with a sharp object I go after the M&M guys. Nothing like a blade to wipe the smug sense of self satisfaction off of Red's face.
Hang in there kid
Hey it's me , the "Other JT" , I screwed up and went Blogger Beta and now I can't do S#$t for S#$T in blogland !
So sorry to hear about your pop. My dad droped dead of a heart attack at 56 so CHERISH the extended time with your dad....
I loved the story of the title ! So typical , you are too funny. I'm sure that had you disected a bear that gummy worms would be the least of your worries.
How about them BUCKEYES !
( #1 in College Football AND College Basketball ! )
I'm terribly sorry about your dad.
I loved four months old. My favorite.
Hey at least it was something...my biology teacher said that since it was a class about "living things" we would not dissect anything. I can't say I'm disappointed.
sorry to hear about your dad, that's gotta be rough, he sounds like he's in good hands though
hang tough
Good day to everyone
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